based on our latest screaming match, i'm fairly sure my mother likes her new sports car more than she likes me.

i stay on track, you're all over the map. come back to LA.

- bug, mandy moore.

Tags: music

Things I Must Buy in the Month of September

Sept 2 - Birthday gift for Mother (pedicure, massage) 25, 50
    The Office Season 4 DVD 34.99

Sept 9 - It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Season 3 DVD 34.99
    Gift for Brother - DVD set of some sort, Gift Card 35, 50

Sept 16 - Pushing Daisies Season 1 DVD 26.99

Sept 23 - Sex and the City The Movie SE DVD x2 (one for moi, one for tiegers) 54.99
    SATC Soundtrack Volume 2 14.99
    Additional Gift for Tiegers 35.00
    Leatherheads DVD 24.99

Additionally
Inevitable ginormous amount of Patriots Merchandise I purchase at the game
250.00

Trip to Cuba
800.00

TOTAL
1493.00

(this doesn't even include the Sports Night 10th Anniversary DVD set - it's gonna be like 60 bucks and I already own the series so I probably won't jump to buy it.....darg)

I'm so fucked. I'm not even going to be paid this month!!!! (Don't go back to work until late Sept) Dumb fandoms! :D

how's everyone?

Tags: money money
i feel: scared

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVELY EMILY M.

YOU ROCK AND DESERVE ALL THE CAPS I AM GIVING HAHA.

HAVE A GOOD ONE AND TAKE CARE, BUDDY!

- signed, claire.

Tags: friends
i feel: bouncy

now i don't believe in many things and i definitely don't know much for sure but i am scared.

last night i dreamed that there was some kind of party or get together featuring a few family members and mostly my dad's work friends and he was saying goodbye. there was lots of hugs and tears. i can distinctively recall he shook a few people's hands and someone i work closely with was red faced with tears and emotion. and when my dad saw someone he hadn't seen in a few years, a retired coworker, he got emotional. but he was strong. that was my dad - strong til the end.

i've never had closure in the form of a dream. and this is the reality - i have to take this because it is all i have. and i will. it is enough.

Tags: dad
i feel: cold

i'm actually so depressed and burned out and missing my dad and sad and stuff i'm actually laughing.

i'm at this point where my dad was taken from me, i've been rejected multiple times in the same week, i'm alone and sad and stuff so it doesn't affect me like it should.

happy early birthday to me.

Tags: fate better fucking make this up to me

first off, happy bday sherlockelly!

second off, i am sure i have someone watching over me. because i work at my dad's office, it is easier to know my coworkers (even though i hadn't met any before his death) but i have no reason to be as outgoing as i have been. i do things and i say things i never would - i feel comfortable with everyone, only a month into working. i do things i never would, i make jokes and enjoy talking with others i never knew and wouldn't really know and i'm proud. i feel this is my dad nudging me along. now it could easily be me THINKING that and doing so, like someone acting drunk thinking they are but have actually drank cola all night. but i don't care.

i said in my facebook note "we're lost without you, pops, but you inspire us to get up everyday and give it our all" and i truly mean that. every morning i wake up at 5:50 and don't complain (i even chose to work that early) and walk out the door thinking of him. he is my inspiration and he is my strength.

third off, i love what not to wear. :D

Tags: dad, fam
i feel: chipper

i am looking for love. i am not a slave to it.

when it comes along, i am ready. i'm not going to search far and wide, i am not going to take every moment of my day and look.

i am looking for a partner who truly is one. and one who grasps my hand a little tighter when things get scary, one who thinks of me first (other than themself is fine) and one who want to be with me always.

i feel: cheerful

i find it mildly offensive (okay very offensive) that a group of people in my close family constantly misspell my name. it's not that tough. and i've only been around for 21 years.

groan.

Tags: claire's version of drama, fam
i feel: annoyed

 * i'm such a dumbass. i set a goal to go to bed by 12 and i still haven't. i have no willpower.

* my computer keeps getting super super slow and freezes a lot and i get DELAYED WRITE FAILURE notices. anyone have experience? i haven't found one solution and i'm worried for my computer.

* i know something big is wrong because my laptop has been unplugged for a good hour and the battery icon has YET to come alive. not good.

Hiatus.
Posting as I Please


(possibly permanent)

because no one seems to care if i update or not, i will keep my thoughts to myself. i have had 8 entries in a row with not one comment. i love you all but i'm not going to bother anymore.

take care.

so i got an ipod classic today. i've wanted a new ipod since...a long time. and i did in fact name it (my previous mini was mikey) bill wailey.

and i am confident NO ONE will get that reference.

last night i dreamed about my dad (i have a lot lately) and in the dream i made the extra effort to hug him a couple times. and that'll be enough for now.

he would have turned 51 today.

Tags: dad, fam

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
i am small
and needy
warm me up
and breathe me.



-- sia, breathe me

Tags: life thru song
i feel: blank

i didn't think i could fall this fast.

Tags: fam